Use Vista Cursor In XP

Looking to spruce up the look of Windows XP? Installing the Vista cursor theme is an easy way to do so, and the Alan Le weblog demonstrates the simple process. After downloading and unzipping the cursors, right click on install.inf and select install. You can then go into Mouse Properties and change your cursor theme. The change is subtle, but nice. Not ready to make the switch to Vista? Here are a few ways you can get Vista's look and feel in XP.Download

niCe info

IF YOU yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
produced
enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced
to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body
to
squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

******A pig's orgasm
lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
to
death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
to
its
body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping
the
length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed
people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only
animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)


Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

The Bet - Anton Pavlovich Chekhov (1860-1904)

IT WAS a dark autumn night. The old banker was walking up and down his study and remembering how, fifteen years before, he had given a party one autumn evening. There had been many clever men there, and there had been interesting conversations. Among other things they had talked of capital punishment. The majority of the guests, among whom were many journalists and intellectual men, disapproved of the death penalty. They considered that form of punishment out of date, immoral, and unsuitable for Christian States. In the opinion of some of them the death penalty ought to be replaced everywhere by imprisonment for life.

"I don't agree with you," said their host the banker. "I have not tried either the death penalty or imprisonment for life, but if one may judge _a priori_, the death penalty is more moral and more humane than imprisonment for life. Capital punishment kills a man at once, but lifelong imprisonment kills him slowly. Which executioner is the more humane, he who kills you in a few minutes or he who drags the life out of you in the course of many years?"

"Both are equally immoral," observed one of the guests, "for they both have the same object -- to take away life. The State is not God. It has not the right to take away what it cannot restore when it wants to."

Among the guests was a young lawyer, a young man of five-and-twenty. When he was asked his opinion, he said:

"The death sentence and the life sentence are equally immoral, but if I had to choose between the death penalty and imprisonment for life, I would certainly choose the second. To live anyhow is better than not at all."

A lively discussion arose. The banker, who was younger and more nervous in those days, was suddenly carried away by excitement; he struck the table with his fist and shouted at the young man:

"It's not true! I'll bet you two millions you wouldn't stay in solitary confinement for five years."

"If you mean that in earnest," said the young man, "I'll take the bet, but I would stay not five but fifteen years."

"Fifteen? Done!" cried the banker. "Gentlemen, I stake two millions!"

"Agreed! You stake your millions and I stake my freedom!" said the young man.

And this wild, senseless bet was carried out! The banker, spoilt and frivolous, with millions beyond his reckoning, was delighted at the bet. At supper he made fun of the young man, and said:

"Think better of it, young man, while there is still time. To me two millions are a trifle, but you are losing three or four of the best years of your life. I say three or four, because you won't stay longer. Don't forget either, you unhappy man, that voluntary confinement is a great deal harder to bear than compulsory. The thought that you have the right to step out in liberty at any moment will poison your whole existence in prison. I am sorry for you."

And now the banker, walking to and fro, remembered all this, and asked himself: "What was the object of that bet? What is the good of that man's losing fifteen years of his life and my throwing away two millions? Can it prove that the death penalty is better or worse than imprisonment for life? No, no. It was all nonsensical and meaningless. On my part it was the caprice of a pampered man, and on his part simple greed for money. . . ."

Then he remembered what followed that evening. It was decided that the young man should spend the years of his captivity under the strictest supervision in one of the lodges in the banker's garden. It was agreed that for fifteen years he should not be free to cross the threshold of the lodge, to see human beings, to hear the human voice, or to receive letters and newspapers. He was allowed to have a musical instrument and books, and was allowed to write letters, to drink wine, and to smoke. By the terms of the agreement, the only relations he could have with the outer world were by a little window made purposely for that object. He might have anything he wanted -- books, music, wine, and so on -- in any quantity he desired by writing an order, but could only receive them through the window. The agreement provided for every detail and every trifle that would make his imprisonment strictly solitary, and bound the young man to stay there _exactly_ fifteen years, beginning from twelve o'clock of November 14, 1870, and ending at twelve o'clock of November 14, 1885. The slightest attempt on his part to break the conditions, if only two minutes before the end, released the banker from the obligation to pay him two millions.

For the first year of his confinement, as far as one could judge from his brief notes, the prisoner suffered severely from loneliness and depression. The sounds of the piano could be heard continually day and night from his lodge. He refused wine and tobacco. Wine, he wrote, excites the desires, and desires are the worst foes of the prisoner; and besides, nothing could be more dreary than drinking good wine and seeing no one. And tobacco spoilt the air of his room. In the first year the books he sent for were principally of a light character; novels with a complicated love plot, sensational and fantastic stories, and so on.

In the second year the piano was silent in the lodge, and the prisoner asked only for the classics. In the fifth year music was audible again, and the prisoner asked for wine. Those who watched him through the window said that all that year he spent doing nothing but eating and drinking and lying on his bed, frequently yawning and angrily talking to himself. He did not read books. Sometimes at night he would sit down to write; he would spend hours writing, and in the morning tear up all that he had written. More than once he could be heard crying.

In the second half of the sixth year the prisoner began zealously studying languages, philosophy, and history. He threw himself eagerly into these studies -- so much so that the banker had enough to do to get him the books he ordered. In the course of four years some six hundred volumes were procured at his request. It was during this period that the banker received the following letter from his prisoner:

"My dear Jailer, I write you these lines in six languages. Show them to people who know the languages. Let them read them. If they find not one mistake I implore you to fire a shot in the garden. That shot will show me that my efforts have not been thrown away. The geniuses of all ages and of all lands speak different languages, but the same flame burns in them all. Oh, if you only knew what unearthly happiness my soul feels now from being able to understand them!" The prisoner's desire was fulfilled. The banker ordered two shots to be fired in the garden.

Then after the tenth year, the prisoner sat immovably at the table and read nothing but the Gospel. It seemed strange to the banker that a man who in four years had mastered six hundred learned volumes should waste nearly a year over one thin book easy of comprehension. Theology and histories of religion followed the Gospels.

In the last two years of his confinement the prisoner read an immense quantity of books quite indiscriminately. At one time he was busy with the natural sciences, then he would ask for Byron or Shakespeare. There were notes in which he demanded at the same time books on chemistry, and a manual of medicine, and a novel, and some treatise on philosophy or theology. His reading suggested a man swimming in the sea among the wreckage of his ship, and trying to save his life by greedily clutching first at one spar and then at another.

II

The old banker remembered all this, and thought:

"To-morrow at twelve o'clock he will regain his freedom. By our agreement I ought to pay him two millions. If I do pay him, it is all over with me: I shall be utterly ruined."

Fifteen years before, his millions had been beyond his reckoning; now he was afraid to ask himself which were greater, his debts or his assets. Desperate gambling on the Stock Exchange, wild speculation and the excitability whic h he could not get over even in advancing years, had by degrees led to the decline of his fortune and the proud, fearless, self-confident millionaire had become a banker of middling rank, trembling at every rise and fall in his investments. "Cursed bet!" muttered the old man, clutching his head in despair "Why didn't the man die? He is only forty now. He will take my last penny from me, he will marry, will enjoy life, will gamble on the Exchange; while I shall look at him with envy like a beggar, and hear from him every day the same sentence: 'I am indebted to you for the happiness of my life, let me help you!' No, it is too much! The one means of being saved from bankruptcy and disgrace is the death of that man!"

It struck three o'clock, the banker listened; everyone was asleep in the house and nothing could be heard outside but the rustling of the chilled trees. Trying to make no noise, he took from a fireproof safe the key of the door which had not been opened for fifteen years, put on his overcoat, and went out of the house.

It was dark and cold in the garden. Rain was falling. A damp cutting wind was racing about the garden, howling and giving the trees no rest. The banker strained his eyes, but could see neither the earth nor the white statues, nor the lodge, nor the trees. Going to the spot where the lodge stood, he twice called the watchman. No answer followed. Evidently the watchman had sought shelter from the weather, and was now asleep somewhere either in the kitchen or in the greenhouse.

"If I had the pluck to carry out my intention," thought the old man, "Suspicion would fall first upon the watchman."

He felt in the darkness for the steps and the door, and went into the entry of the lodge. Then he groped his way into a little passage and lighted a match. There was not a soul there. There was a bedstead with no bedding on it, and in the corner there was a dark cast-iron stove. The seals on the door leading to the prisoner's rooms were intact.

When the match went out the old man, trembling with emotion, peeped through the little window. A candle was burning dimly in the prisoner's room. He was sitting at the table. Nothing could be seen but his back, the hair on his head, and his hands. Open books were lying on the table, on the two easy-chairs, and on the carpet near the table.

Five minutes passed and the prisoner did not once stir. Fifteen years' imprisonment had taught him to sit still. The banker tapped at the window with his finger, and the prisoner made no movement whatever in response. Then the banker cautiously broke the seals off the door and put the key in the keyhole. The rusty lock gave a grating sound and the door creaked. The banker expected to hear at once footsteps and a cry of astonishment, but three minutes passed and it was as quiet as ever in the room. He made up his mind to go in.

At the table a man unlike ordinary people was sitting motionless. He was a skeleton with the skin drawn tight over his bones, with long curls like a woman's and a shaggy beard. His face was yellow with an earthy tint in it, his cheeks were hollow, his back long and narrow, and the hand on which his shaggy head was propped was so thin and delicate that it was dreadful to look at it. His hair was already streaked with silver, and seeing his emaciated, aged-looking face, no one would have believed that he was only forty. He was asleep. . . . In front of his bowed head there lay on the table a sheet of paper on which there was something written in fine handwriting.

"Poor creature!" thought the banker, "he is asleep and most likely dreaming of the millions. And I have only to take this half-dead man, throw him on the bed, stifle him a little with the pillow, and the most conscientious expert would find no sign of a violent death. But let us first read what he has written here. . . ."

The banker took the page from the table and read as follows:

"To-morrow at twelve o'clock I regain my freedom and the right to associate with other men, but before I leave this room and see the sunshine, I think it necessary to say a few words to you. With a clear conscience I tell you, as before God, who beholds me, that I despise freedom and life and health, and all that in your books is called the good things of the world.

"For fifteen years I have been intently studying earthly life. It is true I have not seen the earth nor men, but in your books I have drunk fragrant wine, I have sung songs, I have hunted stags and wild boars in the forests, have loved women. . . . Beauties as ethereal as clouds, created by the magic of your poets and geniuses, have visited me at night, and have whispered in my ears wonderful tales that have set my brain in a whirl. In your books I have climbed to the peaks of Elburz and Mont Blanc, and from there I have seen the sun rise and have watched it at evening flood the sky, the ocean, and the mountain-tops with gold and crimson. I have watched from there the lightning flashing over my head and cleaving the storm-clouds. I have seen green forests, fields, rivers, lakes, towns. I have heard the singing of the sirens, and the strains of the shepherds' pipes; I have touched the wings of comely devils who flew down to converse with me of God. . . . In your books I have flung myself into the bottomless pit, performed miracles, slain, burned towns, preached new religions, conquered whole kingdoms. . . .

"Your books have given me wisdom. All that the unresting thought of man has created in the ages is compressed into a small compass in my brain. I know that I am wiser than all of you.

"And I despise your books, I despise wisdom and the blessings of this world. It is all worthless, fleeting, illusory, and deceptive, like a mirage. You may be proud, wise, and fine, but death will wipe you off the face of the earth as though you were no more than mice burrowing under the floor, and your posterity, your history, your immortal geniuses will burn or freeze together with the earthly globe.

"You have lost your reason and taken the wrong path. You have taken lies for truth, and hideousness for beauty. You would marvel if, owing to strange events of some sorts, frogs and lizards suddenly grew on apple and orange trees instead of fruit, or if roses began to smell like a sweating horse; so I marvel at you who exchange heaven for earth. I don't want to understand you.

"To prove to you in action how I despise all that you live by, I renounce the two millions of which I once dreamed as of paradise and which now I despise. To deprive myself of the right to the money I shall go out from here five hours before the time fixed, and so break the compact. . . ."

When the banker had read this he laid the page on the table, kissed the strange man on the head, and went out of the lodge, weeping. At no other time, even when he had lost heavily on the Stock Exchange, had he felt so great a contempt for himself. When he got home he lay on his bed, but his tears and emotion kept him for hours from sleeping.

Next morning the watchmen ran in with pale faces, and told him they had seen the man who lived in the lodge climb out of the window into the garden, go to the gate, and disappear. The banker went at once with the servants to the lodge and made sure of the flight of his prisoner. To avoid arousing unnecessary talk, he took from the table the writing in which the millions were renounced, and when he got home locked it up in the fireproof safe.

Did You Know ??

 
·    Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

 
·    Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.


·    The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.


·    The electric chair was invented by a dentist.


·    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to Squirt blood 30 feet.


·     Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear By 700 times.


·    Ants don't sleep .


·    Owls have eyeballs that are tubular in shape, because of this, they cannot move their eyes.


·    A bird requires more food in proportion to its size than a baby or a cat.


·    The mouse is the most common mammal in the US.


·    A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length.


·    A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.


·    The Canary Islands were not named for a bird called a canary. They were named after a breed of large dogs. The Latin   name was Canariae insulae - "Island of Dogs."


·    There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.


·     A polecat is not a cat. It is a nocturnal European weasel.


·    The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.


·    The biggest pig in recorded history was Big Boy of Black Mountain, North Carolina, who was weighed at 1,904 pounds in 1939.


·    Cats respond most readily to names that end in an "ee" sound.


·     A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.

·     Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned.


·    Snakes are immune to their own poison.


·    An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes.


·    Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.


·    The biggest member of the cat family is the male lion, which weighs 528 pounds (240 kilograms).


·    Most lipstick contains fish scales.


·    Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.


·    Each day in the US, animal shelters are forced to destroy 30,000 dogs and cats.


·    A shrimp's heart is in their head.


·    A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.


·    A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.  


·    The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an ailurophobe.


·    A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.


·    It may take longer than two days for a chick to break out of its shell.


·    Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.


·    Despite man's fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not ever been proved that a non-rabid wolf ever attacked a human.


·    There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States.


·    Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each year.


·    Cat's urine glows under a black light .


·    The largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in length.


·    It is estimated that a single toad may catch and eat as many as 10,000 insects in the course of a summer.


·   Amphibians eyes come in a variety shapes and sizes. Some even have square or heart-shaped pupils.


·    It would require an average of 18 hummingbirds to weigh in at 1 ounce.


·    Dogs that do not tolerate small children well are the St. Bernard, the Old English sheep dog, the Alaskan malamute, the bull terrier, and the toy poodle.


·    Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of earth in a day.


·    Howler monkeys are the noisiest land animals. Their calls can be heard over 2 miles away.


·    A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic in 1872.


·    The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of up to 220 miles per hour.


.    There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly applied to the leopard, but it is also used to refer to the puma and the jaguar. A black panther is really a black leopard. A capon is a castrated rooster.


·    The world's largest rodent is the Capybara. An Amazon water hog that looks like a guinea pig, it can weigh more than 100 pounds.


·     The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.


·    The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the grebe are all birds that cannot walk.


·    The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers.


·    A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.


·    Worker ants may live seven years and the queen may live as long as 15 years.


·    The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of lobsters is blue.


·    Cheetahs make a chirping sound that is much like a bird's chirp or a dog's yelp. The sound is so an intense, it can be heard a mile away.


·    The underside of a horse's hoof is called a frog. The frog peels off several times a year with new growth.


·    The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in an American court. 98% of brown bears in the United States are in Alaska.


·    Before air conditioning was invented, white cotton slipcovers were put on furniture to keep the air cool.


·     The Barbie doll has more than 80 careers.


·    To make one pound of whole milk cheese, 10 pounds of whole milk is needed.


·    99% of pumpkins that are sold for decoration.


·    Every 30 seconds a house fire doubles in size.


·    The month of December is the most popular month for weddings in the Philippines.


·    A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.


·    Carbon monoxide can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.


·    The largest ever hailstone weighed over 1kg and fell in Bangladesh in 1986.


·    Ants can live up to 16 years.


·    In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries.


·    The sense of smell of an ant is just as good as a dog's. 


·    Popped popcorn should be stored in the freezer or refrigerator as this way it can stay crunchy for up to three weeks.


·    Coca-Cola was originally green.


·    The most common name in the world is Mohammed.


·    The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.


·    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.


·    TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row ! of the keyboard.


·    Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!


·    You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.


·    It is impossible to lick your elbow.


·    People say "Bless you " when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.


·     It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.


·    The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest


·    tongue twister in the English language.


·    If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

 

·    Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.


Spades - King David

Clubs - Alexander the Great,

Hearts - Charlemagne

Diamonds - Julius Caesar.



·    111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321



·    If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.


·    What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?  Ans. - All invented by women.


.    Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?  Ans. - HoneY.


.    A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

.    A snail can sleep for three years. 


.    All polar bears are left handed.

·    American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.


·    Butterflies taste with their feet.


·    Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.


·    In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.


·    On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.


·    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.


·    Most lipstick contains fish scales.


·    Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.


·    Tapeworms range in size from about 0.04 inch to more than 50 feet in length.


·    A baby bat is called a pup.


·    German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.


·    A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time.


·    It takes 35 to 65 minks to produce the average mink coat. The numbers for other types of fur coats are: beaver - 15; fox - 15 to 25; ermine - 150; chinchilla - 60 to 100 .

The man in the other bed

A great note for all to read.

>>
It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
>>One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
>>His bed was next to the room's only window.
>>The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.
>>They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.
?
>>Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

>>
The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.
>>Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.
As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.
One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind ' s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days, weeks and months passed.
One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
>>She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.
>>As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
>>He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.
It faced a blank wall.
>>The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.
If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can ' t buy.
"Today is a gift, that is why it is called The Present."

After returning to India from the "US"

21. Tries to use credit cards in a road side hotel.

 

20 . Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of being health conscious.

 

19 . Sprays deo so that he doesn't need to take bath.

 

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

 

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".

 

Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".

 

Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".

 

Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

 

Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

 

Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".

 

Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".

 

Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, he will say Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four)

 

16. Doesn't forget to crib about the air pollution.

 

Keeps cribbing every time he steps out.

 

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

 

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but deep inside multiplies by 43).

 

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

 

12. When he needs to say Z (zed), he never says Z (Zed), instead repeats "Zee" several times,

 

and if the other person is unable to get it, then says X, Y Zee(but never says Zed)

 

11 . Writes the date in MM/DD/YYYY. On watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY, says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

 

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and the Indian Road Conditions.

 

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

 

8 . Avoids eating spicy food.

 

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

 

Eats Pizza instead of Dosa.

 

6. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is experiencing it for the first time.

 

Asks questions etc. about India as though its his first visit to India .

 

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

 

4. Looks suspiciously towards any Hotel/Dhaba food.

 

 

 

Few more important ones:

 

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of the Airways by which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

 

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India and tries to roll the bag on Indian Roads.

 

 

 

The Ultimate one

 

1. Tries to begin any conversation with "In US ...."

 

or "When I was in US..."

 

  

Lateral Thinking

Check out Lateral thinking . . .
Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself.
Think like a wizard . . .








      Man
1. ------------
     Board







Answer = Man Overboard








Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.








    stand
2. ------------
      i








Answer = I Understand








OK . . .Got the drift?








Let's try a few now and see how you fare?








3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/








Answer = Reading Between the Lines








4.   r  
      road  
     a   
        d







Answer = Cross Road








Not having a good day now, are you?


Redeem yourself.








5.     Cycle
        Cycle
        Cycle








Answer = Tricycle








Easy to figure that one out ha!








       0
6. ------------
     M.D.
     Ph.D.








Answer = Two Degrees below Zero








C'mon give it a little thought!








      knee
7. ------------
      light








Answer = Neon Light (knee-on-light)








You can prove you're smart by getting this one.








          ground
8       ---------------
feet feet feet feet feet feet








Answer = Six Feet Underground








Oh no, not again!








9. He's X himself








Answer = He's by Himself








Now you're messing up big time.








10. ecnalg








Answer = Backward Glance








Not even close!








11. Death ..... Life








Answer = Life after Death








Okay last chance . . .  








12. THINK








Answer = Think Big !








And the last one is real fun - - -








13. ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb . . .








Answer = Long Time No 'C'

 

Attitude Matters

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato

garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him,
was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his
situation:




Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my
potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your
mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging
up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over.
I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love,
Dad




Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't
dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers
showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: " Go ahead and
plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here."

The Best "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-Duh-visuals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

Multiple Yahoo Address for the Same account

Yahoo mail beta and the original Yahoo mail is now available with professional looking 'dot' addresses. Each existing Yahoo address can have another address as an alternate e-mail ID, which shall share the same Inbox as the primary ID. This is best, since we can now have a professional 'firstname.lastname@yahoo.com' address without having to worry about maintaining another mail account all-together. Mails sent to or from either mail ID shall come to the same inbox and you can use either ID as the sender ID.
Get your new alternate email ID at :
Just Click on this link

You can create an account with dot with same password. This ID will have mails going into the inbox of existing account. You can login or send or receive mails on either ID. You can also create another dot ID by creating totally new account from signing from mail.yahoo.com.
Log in anywhere on the Yahoo! network (Mail, Photos, Messenger with BT Communicator — the list goes on and on…)

Cool One Liners

If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for  patience.  
.......

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
.......

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a  better class of people.
.......

Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.
.......

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
.......

Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
.......

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.
.......

By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who  thinks he's usually wrong.
.......

Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them,  we wouldn't have.
.......

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
.......

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
.......

There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.
.......

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
.......

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
.......

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
.......

NotePad Tips and Tricks

If you press F5 in notepad, it will insert current date and time in the file. I think most of us know about this notepad trick. It is also mentioned in the Edit menu of the notepad. I am going to talk about a trick, which is related to this,
Sometimes we want to insert current data and time, whenever we open the file in the notepad. If you are a lazy person like me, who don't like to press F5 whenever you open a notepad. Then here is a trick to avoid this. Just add a .LOG  in the first line of your text file and close it.
Whenever you open the file with that text in the first line in the notepad, it will insert the current date and time at the end of the file. You can start entering your text after that.

Important tips by Famous Heart Specialist - Dr. Deviprasad Shetty for Heart Attacks (Very Informative)

Qn: What are the five thumb rules for a layman to take care of his heart?

Ans:
1. Diet - Less of carbohydrate, more of protein, less oil
2. Exercise - Half an hour's walk, at least five days a week; avoid lifts and avoid sitting for a longtime
3. Quit smoking
4. Control weight
5. Control blood pressure and sugar Qn: Is eating non-veg food (fish) good for the heart?

Ans: No

Qn: It's still a grave shock to hear that some apparently healthy person 
gets a cardiac arrest. How do we understand it in perspective? 

Ans: This is called silent attack; that is why we recommend everyone past the age of 30 to undergo routine health checkups.

Qn: Are heart diseases hereditary? 

Ans: Yes 
Qn: What are the ways in which the heart is stressed? What practices do you suggest to de-stress? 

Ans: Change your attitude towards life. Do not look for perfection in everything in life.

Qn: Is walking better than jogging or is more intensive exercise required to keep a healthy heart?

Ans: Walking is better than jogging since jogging leads to early fatigue and injury to joints . 

Qn: You have done so much for the poor and needy. What has inspired you to do so?

Ans: Mother Theresa, who was my patient.

Qn: Can people with low blood pressure suffer heart diseases?

Ans: Extremely rare

Qn: Does cholesterol accumulates right from an early age (I'm currently only 22) or do you have
to worry about it only after you are above 30 years of age?

Ans: Cholesterol accumulates from childhood.

Qn: How do irregular eating habits affect the heart?

Ans: You tend to eat junk food when the habits are irregular and your body's enzyme release for digestion gets confused.

Qn: How can I control cholesterol content without using medicines?

Ans: Control diet, walk and eat walnut.

Qn: Can yoga prevent heart ailments?

Ans: Yoga helps.

Qn: Which is the best and worst food for the heart? 

Ans: Best food is fruits,chapathi's(without oil) worst are oil.

Qn: Which oil is better - gingili, groundnut, sunflower, saffola, olive?

Ans: All oils are bad; the so-called best oil company has the largest marketing budget. try to consume oil while cooking.

Qn: What is the routine checkup one should go through? Is there any specific test? 

Ans: Routine blood test to ensure sugar, cholesterol is ok. Check BP, Treadmill test after an echo.


Qn: What are the first aid steps to be taken on a heart attack?

Ans: Help the person into a sleeping position, put an aspirin tablet under the tongue with a sorbitrate tablet if available, and rush him to a coronary care unit since the maximum casualty takes place within the first hour.

Qn: How do you differentiate between pain caused by a heart attack and that caused due to gastric trouble?

Ans: Extremely difficult without ECG.

Qn: What is the main cause of a steep increase in heart problems amongst youngsters? I see people of about 30-40 yrs of age having heart attacks and serious heart problems.

Ans: Increased awareness has increased incidents. Also, edentary lifestyles, smoking,junk food, lack of exercise in a country where people are genetically three times more vulnerable for heart attacks than Europeans and Americans.

Qn: Is it possible for a person to have BP outside the normal range of 120/80 and yet be perfectly healthy?

Ans: Yes.

Qn: Marriages within close relatives can lead to heart problems for the child. Is it true?

Ans : Yes, co-sanguinity leads to congenital abnormalities and you may not have a software engineer as a child

Qn: Many of us have an irregular daily routine and many a times we have to stay late nights in office. Does this affect our heart? What precautions would you recommend?

Ans : When you are young, nature protects you against all these irregularities. However, as you grow older, respect the biological clock.

Qn: Will taking anti-hypertensive drugs cause some other complications (short / long term)?

Ans : Yes, most drugs have some side effects. However, modern anti-hypertensive drugs are extremely safe.

Qn: Will consuming more coffee/tea lead to heart attacks?

Ans : No.

Qn: Are asthma patients more prone to heart disease?

Ans : No.

Qn: How would you define junk food?

Ans : Fried food like Kentucky , McDonalds, samosas, and even masala dosas.

Qn: You mentioned that Indians are three times more vulnerable. What is the reason for this, as Europeans and Americans also eat a lot of junk food?

Ans : Every race is vulnerable to some disease and unfortunately, Indians are vulnerable for the most expensive disease.

Qn: Does consuming bananas help reduce hypertension?

Ans : No.

Qn: Can a person help himself during a heart attack (Because we see a lot of forwarded emails on this)?

Ans : Yes. Lie down comfortably and put an aspirin tablet of any description under the tongue and ask someone to take you to the nearest coronary care unit without any delay and do not wait for the ambulance since most of the time, the ambulance does not turn up.

Qn: Do, in any way, low white blood cells and low hemoglobin count lead to heart problems?

Ans : No. But it is ideal to have normal hemoglobin level to increase your exercise capacity.

Qn: Sometimes, due to the hectic schedule we are not able to exercise. So, does walking while doing daily chores at home or climbing the stairs in the house, work as a substitute for exercise? 

Ans : Certainly. Avoid sitting continuously for more than half an hour and even the act of getting out of the chair and going to another chair and sitting helps a lot.

Qn: Is there a relation between heart problems and blood sugar?

Ans: Yes. A strong relationship since diabetics are more vulnerable to heart attacks than non-diabetics.

Qn: What are the things one needs to take care of after a heart operation?

Ans : Diet, exercise, drugs on time. Control cholesterol, BP, weight.

Qn: Are people working on night shifts more vulnerable to heart disease when compared to day shift workers? 

Ans : No.

Qn: What are the modern anti-hypertensive drugs? 

Ans : There are hundreds of drugs and your doctor will chose the right combination for your problem, but my suggestion is to avoid the drugs and go for natural ways of controlling blood pressure by walk, diet to
reduce weight and changing attitudes towards lifestyles.

Qn: Does dispirin or similar headache pills increase the risk of heart attacks?

Ans : No.

Qn: Why is the rate of heart attacks more in men than in women?

Ans : Nature protects women till the age of 45.

Qn: How can one keep the heart in a good condition?

Ans : Eat a healthy diet, avoid junk food, exercise everyday, do not smoke and, go for a health checkup if you are past the age of 30 for at least once in two yrs. And work very hard and Enjoy ur Life...

Being in Twenties

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that every one reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...


FATE DETERMINES WHO COMES INTO OUR LIVES.....HEART DETERMINES WHO STAYS

Hallmark cards - Outside n Inside

1. I always wanted to have someone, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life...

(Inside card)   - I've changed my mind.  

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...  
(Inside card)   - I never believed in Hell until I met you.  

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....  
(Inside card) -   That you're not here to ruin it for me ..

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....  
(Inside card) -   Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.  

5. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....  
(Inside card) -   Almost lifelike!  

6. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...  
(Inside card) -   Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.  

7. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....  
(Inside card) -   Did you ever find out who the father was?  

8. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...  
(Inside card)   - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often .

9. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...  
(Inside card)   - So we're having you put to sleep.  

10. Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can't help but   wonder.....  
(Inside card) -   What the   hell   was I thinking  

11. I'm so miserable without you...  
(Inside card) -   It's almost like you're still here.  

12. Thank you for being part of my life.....  
(Inside card) -   I never knew what evil was until I met you!  

13. Congratulations on your wedding day!  
(Inside card) -   Too bad no one likes your husband.  

14. How can I say this....  
(Inside card) -   Your cooking kills me  

15. Hooray.....  
(Inside card) -   You're divorced.  

16. I just want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened...  
(Inside card) -   Especially since you survived.  

17. Congrats on getting married...  
(Inside card) -   It's not everyday you decide to ruin your life.  

18. Someday I hope to marry...  
(inside card) -   Someone other than you.

19. We have been friends for a very long time...
(inside card) -   What do you say we stop?

Do You Know?

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. the most common name in the world is Mohammed.

3. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that   they
start with.

4. The
 strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .

6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can   be made using the letters
Only
 on one row! Of the keyboard.

7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

9. Both Humans and Giraffee   have the same number of bones in the neck


10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
Your
 Heart stops for a
 millisecond.

11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English
 language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
 suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in
 your head or neck and die.

14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from
history.

Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs
In the air, the   person died in battle.

17. If
 the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of
wounds received in battle.

18. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of
Natural causes.

19. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes,   windshield wipers and
Laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

20. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey

21. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

22. A snail can sleep for three years.

23. All polar bears are left handed.

24. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
From each salad served in first-class.

25. Butterflies taste with their feet.

26. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

27. In the last
 4000
 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

28. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

29. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.

30. Stewardesses are the longest word typed with only the left
 hand.

31. The ant always falls over on its right side   when intoxicated.

32. The
 electric chair was invented by a dentist.

33. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
Body to squirt blood 30
 feet.

34. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
Over million   descendants.

35. Wearing headphones for just
 an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

36. The cigarette lighter was invented before
 the match.

37. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

38. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different

39. There is a Butterfly in Brazil which
 has the color of chocolates And also smells like Chocolate

40. Giraffee can clean there ears with their
 tongue

41. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

42. And finally 99% of people who read this would try to
 lick their Elbow now

Most Overused Adult Line in Indian Cinema

main kisi ko munh dikhane ke kabil nahi rahi.     


yeh paise pakad aur iss seher mein vapas matt aana    


bachcha mera hai    


abb sab oopar wale ke haath mein hai!!    

main maa banne walli hoon!!!    

pregnant gal`s parents after hearing the news:
"yeh sunnne se pehle nbagwan tune hume uttha kyun nahin liya "    


preg. gal after the guy refuses to giv his name to the child:
mein iss bachche ko jaroor janam doongi"    


gal urging the rapist" mujhe bhagwan ke liye chhoode do"    



"main tum mein sama jaaoon, tum mujh mein sama jaao"...
(shy to say let's have sex !!)    

girl explaining the time of sex.................
""yeh ......yeh sab kuch itna achaanak ho gaya kee................
hum apne aap ko rok nahi paae!!!""    


saas to bahu......kutti,kamini,karmjali,kalmuhi,kulta......    


"aaj main tumhe apna banakar rahoonga"...Followed by echoed "nahi" from the prey.    


after rape:
gal's parents :- yeh sab kya ho gaya?

(gal replys - kuch nahi sap sedi khel rahe hain)    

Kalankni kahan muh kaala karva ke aa rahi hai
This may not b the recent movie line as nowadays mooh kala karvana is nothing bad

Kalankni kahan muh kaala karva ke aa rahi hai    


Dekh ke Fat gayi kya
Dekh ke Fat gayi kya    


WHILE A PERSON IS DYING
TUM MUJHE CHOD KE NAHIN JAA SAKTE    


this is from film....KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI.....

the title itself is a double-meaning kind.....like kuch kuch hota hai means....he/she is getting stimulated for sex..he he ehe    


girl returns home after being raped. clothes all in tatters, hair all messed up ... and the girl's mother screams .... "Hey Bhagwan yeh tune kya kiya?" ... how the hell did she know the name of the rapist is Bhagwan


 pata nahi bhagwan hume kaunse paapon ki sazaa de raha hai...??????
eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkk...i mean fo heaven's sake ya....    


Girl: Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhode do
Rapist: agar tumhe bhgawan ke liye chhode dunga to mera kaya hoga janeman    

overused and over repeated hindi lines can be nothin other than the rot stale hindi songs..all sound nd mean the same....    

gal during rape scene:"mujhe bhagwaan ke liye chhod do"...abbe kya bhagwaan tera rape karenge    


dharmender's favourite line:
kutte mein tera khoon pee jaunga    


chup le jhan tujhe chupna par ek baat yaad rakhiyo tu jhaan jayega vahin aa kar maroonga tujhe    


Hey bhagwaan... yeh maine kya kar dala    


hero comes home overjoyed ..
"Maa main BA First class first pass hua"    


Mother(maa)to her Son(of course d Hero)

"Beta maine aaj teri pasand ka Gajar ka Halwa banaya hai!"    


bachao.. bachao.. koi mujhe bachao..

 bachha gira do
lolz    


wats say
a pregnenet womens mother in a horrified state says to d god:
yeh sab teri gslti hai
haha:) lol    


dialogue wale chutiye kyun hote hai
women says after knowing dat she gonna get pregnanent
NAHI YEH NAI HO SAKTA    


After rebirth mother says
" Woh zaroor wapus aayega"
n hero ki entry    


"NAHIN"
put it in any situation....it fits!!!!!!!!!    


gul to the bad man : tum mera tan le sakte ho per mera maan sirf uska[hero] he rahega

bad man: mujha waise bhi sirf tera tan he chaheya

Don't Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.
                                                                  
                                                              - Unknown

Have a laugh!

> Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are
> always getting into trouble and their parents know all
> about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are
> probably involved.
>
> The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had
> been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak
> with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them
> individually..
>
> So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the
> morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
>
>
> The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
> younger boy down and asked him sternly,
>
> "Do you know where God is, son?"
>
> The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
> sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
>
> So the preacher repeated the question in an even
> sterner tone, "Where is God?!"
>
> Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher
> raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and
> bellowed,
>
> "Where is God?!"
>
> The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran
> directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
>
> When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?"
> The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We
> are in BIG trouble this time.
>

> scroll down
>
> ..........
>
> ....
>
> ..........
>
> .....
>
> ........
>
> ..........
>
> ..................
>
> ............................
>
> ..........
>
> GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

I n Memory of all those who love their bosses ......!

A guy phones up his Boss,

but gets the bosses' wife instead.

"I'm afraid he died last week."

she explains. The next day the

man calls again and asks for

the boss. "I told you" the wife replies,

"he died last week." The next day

he calls again and once more

asks to Speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting

upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY

TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,

YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING.....?"

He replied laughing,

"I just love hearing it... "

Racism

The following scene took place on a BA flight between

Johannesburg and London.

This is a true story.

A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a Black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess.

"Madam, what is the matter," the Hostess asked.

"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded.

"You placed me next to a Black man.

I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group.

Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please, " the Hostess replied.

"Almost all the places on this flight are taken.

I will go to see if another seat is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.

"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats

in the Economy class.

I spoke to the Captain and he informed me that there is

also no seats in the Business class.

All the same, we still have one seat in the First class."

Before the woman could say anything, the Hostess continued:

"It is not usual for our company to permit someone from

the Economy class to sit in the First class.

However, given the circumstances,

the Captain feels that it would be scandalous to make

someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

She turned to the Black guy, and said,

"Therefore, Sir,

if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage,

a seat awaits you in First class."

At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by

what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

If you are against Racism, please send this message to all your friends. Please do not delete it without sending it to at least one person

A Teenage Girl

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and
time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the
past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few
blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep
her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she
decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end
as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round
her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man
and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been
raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have
been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she
decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see
if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the
alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down
and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was
anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know
that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God.


PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter
what.....and if you stand up 4 him he will stand up for you.

I bet 93% of the people that read this wont repost it.